From one wife to another.

I've come to realize that instead of marriage being about so many subtractions such as loss of free will.. costs more money now that you have a family etc... its really all about the additions to your life. Yes you had all this freedom, yes you may have had more money, and yes you probably had a lot of crazy adventures.. but we are all looking for the same thing in the end... someone that is your friend, a companion, and your ride or die bonnie and clyde sort of guy.... marriage adds a partner, that teaches you to appreciate such things we take for granted, such as watching reruns of law and order on the dvr, the extra hour of just laying in bed cuddling before your alarm buzzes, or having someone turn on the porch lights for you before you come home. Like paolo said, its the silence in the noise and I'm so glad you found a man that knows what that means. Most of all, I'm glad that psyche found a "papa" that truly epitomizes that role. I know as a mom you want to give her the world, and what's best, and that means a stable family... you have given her that with paolo and that little girl deserves the best.

Marriage won't be easy, but you'll get as much as you put in. When the going gets tough... just realize that no matter what happens, when thoughts invade your mind if you met the right guy etc... it doesn't matter if you change the "players", it will still be the same problem if you don't work things out.  Love him for his faults and all.

---From my lovely and great friend, Ruth... who emailed these words of wisdom (and more) using her phone and all the way from Cali.