FUCK.

Fuck I wanna rant.

Now I know I know our police officers here are disgustingly underpaid but GOD. Who takes up rigorous training to uphold the law, to protect its citizens... AND NOT FUCKING DO IT????

Shit. The fucking nanny did a better job acting on her civil duties!

And you know what's fucking sad?

When people tell me to NOT go to the police anymore, that it would just be a waste of time, that they might even be in on these burglaries. And I don't wanna think that about anyone since I don't wanna generalize but fuck.

And yes I know WE SHOULD MOVE but doesn't anybody understand that money doesn't grow on trees and houses don't just fall on your lap when you wish for it and Pao and I were NOT raised to leech off of our parents or off anyone and that any charitable gesture given to us is taken with the utmost humility (if not almost immediately turned down).

And what the fuck is up with cops wanting a fucking hand-out???

Like SERIOUSLY????? It fucking pisses me off!!! And I'm sorry we all got problems but shit. Man, I dunno. I really don't know anymore.

You know... the only time (and I was only able to truly recognize this now after the last incident of getting burglarized)... the only time I ever cared enough about money... or to even give it some serious value... is when I see how I can't seem to buy my daughter the things she wants. Of course, I know I give her what she needs and what she doesn't need is another Barbie doll but it just breaks my heart when I have to explain to her that Pao and I have to make more money. I know I would never want to spoil my kids but sometimes I think, why can't she have a Barbie? Why can't kids have what they want? Parents should work hard to give their kids what they want. I'd have wanted a Barbie. It may not seem all that logical now because adults don't play with toys anymore but to Hell if as an adult we can honestly say we've never wanted anything for just the sheer fuck of it. Shit, some of the things we want now cost more than just money and little do we know (or care) we're paying with our own integrity.

Fuck.

Case in fucking point: those two fuckers who had the AUDACITY to try to break into our apartment in the middle of the fucking day.

And now... I can't even give my daughter a safe home.

And this makes me mad. And I don't wanna fall into some stupid pit of despair because I KNOW HOW BLESSED I AM (fuckers wouldn't be trying to steal from us if we weren't blessed) but SHIT.

That's all I have to say.

.....

I'm sorry if this has a lot of the word "fuck" in it. To the administrators of multiply, I hope y'all understand.