Yesterday, we went to visit my parents at Lagro and my daughter who was there, took her to the mall to get a haircut, bought groceries... I even ended up buying her a set of Grolier books and dvds for 12k out of sheer motherly instinct. I thought it was a good investment since she wasn't in school yet and I had the money.
Then Paolo and I decided to watch a movie before going home. I was leaving for Japan at 9am so we thought we could squeeze one last full show before we had to wake up to go to the airport where I would be back after four days.
We were asleep by 2am.
I woke up with a sense of urgency, just before any of the alarms were supposed to go off. I always wake up when there's something I can't afford to snooze my way through. I opened the door and headed down the stairs when I noticed that one of the downstairs lights was on. I immediately thought Pao had forgotten to turn it off after he showered and was ready to scold him after I turned it off myself... but when I got to the living room, I saw our screen door WIDE OPEN, being held by one of my flower pots. Even at that point, it didn't occur to me that someone had broken in, I again thought Pao had carelessly left the door open (maybe because I just couldn't believe anyone would do such a thing... to rob us while we were just upstairs, not even two hours of sleep having gone by). That's when I saw our TV and the LG home entertainment system Pao was reviewing was missing, save for the two larger LG speakers, our own DVD player, and the TV's plug. I peered outside and saw that our main gate was open, closed the door, and immediately ran upstairs screaming for Pao to wake up to tell him that we had just been robbed.
The corner of our screen had been cut with a pair of small, dull scissors. Almost like children's safety scissors. And by the screen door was a long narrow wood with a piece of cloth tied at the end, to turn the locks.
I knew then that I had interrupted the burglar before he was finished.
But I didn't cause a ruckus, nor did I attempt to try to run outside and look for the burglar and my stuff. I know how in movies, people tend to go after the burglar especially if there was a chance to catch him, but I didn't feel that a TV was worth confronting someone who obviously needed to resort to something like this... someone who had nothing to lose. Then I remembered Alexis and Nika, who lived right by my office in West Triangle, and how they were killed for a couple of laptops... inside their lovely home in a relatively posh subdivision.
God it's so hard to be lax. You have to constantly be on your guard. But if you can't be safe in your own home, how can you feel safe anywhere?
On top of the television cabinet where our tv used to be, lay me and daughter's Christmas photo together. I looked at it and wondered how the burglar could've done such a thing... how he could look at that photo and not see what he was doing was wrong. I felt not only scared, but ashamed that I couldn't protect my family better. That I had been lax. That I had forgotten to close the windows. I know it sounds naive of me but the audacity of it is astounding.
And I cried, scared out of my mind that I had just evaded a brush with death and just utterly grateful that my daughter wasn't home, that I hadn't caught the burglar red-handed... in my underwear, and yes, that I had disrupted the burglar in time before he went on to steal Pao's DJ equipment. I knew it would've crushed him if those were taken... even if they are just material things.
And the fact that we were still alive.
But I had to go to work and leave Pao with the mess that burglar made. It was awful. I was so torn. But thankfully... Pao and I have the best families in the world. It's so humbling to have people so concerned. Our parents who step up to be parents even when Pao and I have made "adults" out of ourselves --- to choose to stay in our own not-so-safe apt. just to prove that we didn't need help. That we had grown up and we were taking care of our own. I think I could speak for the both of us when I say that sometimes, even when you think you're all mature and you've got everything under control, it's still nice to just be your parents' kids... to be taken care of. To be told that it will be alright, that it was just money... and that they would give anything for your safety. Even if you've fought for freedom from the very safety and sheltered life they provided.
Now as I read my emails from Pao, I realize how many more people are just as genuinely concerned about us. And it just tears me up inside because we are soooooo lucky. So so lucky. It's fucking humbling. You know, he and I... we're just two young couples trying to make it. Trying to live the dream. To build a home. A family. Trying to save, trying to get through each day with love and hope for our future. We're not rich though our families might be. We try to be enough for one another... to try to be good parents and partners and siblings and friends. We try to be good to each other and even when we fight, we both know that he and I have our entire lives to win together and for each other and it's exciting and beautiful.
I just can't imagine having that taken away from you in the blink of an eye.
That is what I fucking learned today.
.....
Ergo, we are getting the Hell out of that apt. and when I get back, I'm gonna take better care of my family and our safety. I'm just glad that God consistently gives me the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. This wasn't the first time someone had come into my apt. while I was sleeping. When I was in college, living in an apartment complex (one of many that stood right beside each other), someone had come in while I was in the living room fast asleep on the floor, hovered above me, and took the cellphones that were just above my head. I didn't wake up. I didn't feel a thing. I only found out when my ex saw a stranger coming out of the apartment and chased him until he dropped the phones. The burglar got away. But it just goes to show that times are THAT hard. People are taking more risks.
So people, don't get too lax. Especially now that it's almost Christmas and times are still hard for a lot. People will do what they can to survive.
Right now, I just wanna go home to my family and hold them.
Then I'm gonna go on a gimmick hiatus so I can save up for a tv.
treats)....
