HAPPILY NEVER AFTER

Once upon a time…

 

When you broke up with someone…

You had the time and the privacy to mourn the loss.

It was once such a beautifully bittersweet luxury to just let the pain, the anguish, the nostalgia flow through you like a crashing wild river of ice cold water, throwing your soul against jagged rocks, pushing you deeper as you struggle to the surface to gasp for air. Or sometimes, it's like having the burning, inescapable truth burn holes in you until everything you once felt, once knew, once believed, once shared, once once once upon a time… was drained from your body.

Gone.

Like the smoke that leaves your mouth with very soothing cigarette. The kind that holds back the tears. And you can find a reason to sit on the floor and hug your knees and rock yourself back and forth and stare at the floor or at the wall without really thinking, just… a lot of “trying to forget” forgetting and really just a lot of listening to some cheesy,but ridiculously "on point" break-up song and making the singer your best friend (because no one would understand you better than Keyshia Cole or Taylor Swift... and they'd be less judgmental).

And if you had an ounce of strength left in that body, upon every word that dropped with every melody… you would probably just nod and say, “ain’t that the fucking truth.”

 

Until facebook fucked it up.

 

God people you don’t have to change your status right away you know. Sheesh. I’ve been “in a relationship” (on my friendster *ahem*) since 2003. I think it’s good to mourn alone first before immediately giving the pain away to be shared with other people to be turned into a superficial display of melodrama. I think it’s something we shouldn’t avoid actually “dealing” with. The thing with breakups is… you can make a big theatrical show of it all for yourself. You can overexaggerate it. You can succumb to it. Plunge headfirst into it. You can grab that notebook and scribble disparate rhapsodies onto it until your fingers bleed. And you can cry and cry and cry and be alone with God and figure out in the middle of all your crying, what the hell you’re supposed to do now.

And then you find yourself again.

***I apologize for the helluh corny entry title (PCD, really?). I couldn't think of anything better but hey, the song is actually pretty ok to listen to if you wanted to emote.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pETEB5K9QJg