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I've been married for 2 months and 3 days now.
We still have our ups and downs. Still have our doubts (not adultery type shit, more like, "I hope you can one day get over being bi-polar" type doubts, but that's really just my problem). Still have those same petty squabbles you'd think were only monopolized by boyfriends and girlfriends --- as if becoming "husband" and "wife" makes you immune to being "trivial". I don't know if being married makes anyone better than any other couple who's not. And now that I'm actually married, I think all of those grandeur thoughts I used to have about marriage and weddings and all that stuff have become more simplified.
I'm watching the Root of all Evil.
And seriously... for all religion is worth... the only thing I really can't get over is how we have evidence of dinosaurs and still insist that the Book of Genesis is correct. If it weren't so frustrating, it'd be funny.
We're saving up for our church wedding next year.
Man, I always wanted a wedding.
But when little girls dream of their dream fairytale weddings, I don't think they included a financial breakdown of that sh*t. Hell, I don't remember ever whipping out a calculator when I was eight nor did I hope that my husband to be would be able to pay for all of the elegance and beauty I had designed in my head. (I think little girls assume that "love" will cover the expenses, hahaha! Had I truly believed that then I should've just gotten paid for all the "love" I gave away and saved up for this "dream" wedding. =)
My husband says he owes it to his family to have a church wedding. In my case, I think I just owe it to that little girl in me to have a wedding... even though that "little girl" isn't paying diddly for it, nor is she the one working her ass off to get it. I mean, what more could she want right? She's married to a great guy. She has a lovely, intelligent daughter. She's not starving. She has a roof over her head. She has an awesome family. She's charming and pretty and independent and strong-willed (yes, I'm not even gonna be modest about it).
*sigh*
I don't mean to sound crazy.
But it's just not making sense to me.
And this isn't me being disenchanted. Or even UN-romantic.
I just need a little indulging here.
I mean, I watched the Royal Wedding. (After my friend, Dianna told me to turn on the TV just to have a look at Kate Middleton's dress, after I told her I wasn't watching it because I would rather take a nap.)
It's as beautiful as it can get as far as weddings are concerned. Unlimited resources. An absolutely grandiose and magnificent ceremony.
Strangely, all I could think about was how Princess Diana and Prince Charles had the same awesome wedding... and look at how that marriage turned out. It made me sad. Amidst all of that beauty... it just made me sad.
I could only wish William and Kate aren't doomed to the same fate.
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My husband says it's ok if ever we lost our rings (not ok ok, but just ok)... that other couples have lost and replaced their rings helluh times... that it was just a symbol, nothing more really.
Aren't weddings like just symbols too? Like surely, if people noticed we had lost our rings... or that we weren't wearing them, wouldn't they be off-ed by it? But for us, it wouldn't mean a thing because we understand, ring or not, we were married... and we might've promised the priest we'd be married and declared it to our family and friends, but ultimately, the only person I have to keep that promise to is to my husband and vice versa.
Right?
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I did have this idea once to get married at the Banawe Rice Terraces (something about it being called "the stairway to heaven" and I figured, you couldn't get any closer to God than that.) I mean, sure, not everyone would be able to witness it... and we wouldn't be able to show it off.
I just thought it'd be a cool experience, ya know? Like yeah where'd y'all get married? The Rice Terraces. Was anyone there? Nope. Just us. Being married by God.
'Cause I believe in God, y'all.
But man, I don't think He expected people to actually shell out helluh money just so He could bless that union.
Then again, you can't get gifts if there isn't a party to go to.
And I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a wedding if we could have memories that looked like this.
Like frikkin' rockstars...............
And here's another important issue raised by the very brilliant Almie Rose, a woman truly after my own heart.
A wedding reception is a party. A wedding ceremony is something else, and if you want to keep that guest list limited, then I understand. But let’s not kid ourselves, your wedding reception is a big party for everyone to celebrate you and your husband/wife/partner. That’s totally cool, but how can you tell me I can’t bring a date? Because you’re paying for dinner? When I throw parties, I provide alcohol and food too, and if someone wants to bring a date I’m like, go for it, because that’s what you do when you want your friends to celebrate with you. If you don’t think more is merrier, then keep your reception to family only and your best friend.
PLUS ONE OR GET NONE <------- Click for full entry
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i hecka agree... anthony and I are being "bugged" to finally have our church wedding.. which keeps getting postponed due to babies and also purchasing a house next year. But I sometimes think its going t be like Junior prom. I remember that I spent like $600 on my prom dress and my mom telling me that it wasnt worth it and thats not what prom was about. But I wanted the "prettiest" dress and the one no one else would have (or could afford at 16 lol). Afterwards, i regretted buying that dress. Its not like I had more fun because I wore that dress, I could have easily went to Macy's and had the same amount of fun. I got caught up in the hype and that stupid dress still sits in my closet. For senior prom, I knew better, I found a cute dress for like less than a $100 and had an amazing time and my pictures were even better than w/ the expensive dress. Ive talked to a couple of friends that had an extravagant wedding for the sake of family etc. And they've all said the same thing, that if they could do it over, the would have done it smaller, more intimate, and saved more money and the stress wasnt worth it. Some friends that I know were still paying for their wedding after 2 years because of tey put it on credit cards :/
ReplyDeleteDont worry about your wedding living up to everyones expectation. Just make sure it meets yours and you dont get caught up in the craziness. Because no matter how much money you have, you can't buy what you and Paolo have, and thats what truly matters when you're walking down the aisle :)
Oh sweetie, you can always tick off "Photographer" off the budget list. :)
ReplyDeleteI remember when we shot our engagement session, which was about two weeks before your wedding, and I asked you if you were nervous about the big day. You looked at me as if I had asked the most unorthodox, most bizarre thing ever. It's like I was asking, "So, you eat hot dogs with... rice? How about tuna? Do you eat tuna with rice?" Haha. And that's what's so amazing about you and Paolo. This was probably the most ordinary and most extraordinary thing you guys could've done - the clarity and certainty of it all was just so beautiful. You guys get it. Marriage wasn't just " the next step" for you two, it's just what it is - two people in love who want to be together forever, two people who know they want to be together forever. I know you're going to be that bride that fills her plate with steak and dessert and wolfs down her reception, that gets completely plastered and calls the shots on the dance floor. A bride actually enjoying HER day! :)
And with that, I must re-budget. =) yeah, I dunno, i'm really not getting the whole point of spending even half a mil (and that's already pretty cheap)... even though there is still a chance if you get really generous sponsors, you can break even... but i dunno.
ReplyDeleteI need ideas.
ergo...
ReplyDeletei can do all of that on a much smaller budget. =P (hahaha, we're all talking about this as if pao isn't gonna read it =). It's funny how he says he wants what i want and how it's my day... but i don't think he'd let me cut the guestlist if it meant saving more money. =P
i just wanna party, y'all. =P