ON NEXT LEVEL LIVING

We are on that next level living. We just need to take it one step at a time, no need to jump into and dive into everything. It will unfold as we let it and as soon as we get into a comfortable system, then we can move into the next step. I'm happy that we're doing everything bit by bit. See where it's gotten us now? We actually succeeded in living together, getting through robberies, getting our own condo, fixing it up, buying all these things, raising psyche, getting married, and all that. I mean, isn't that just wonderful how we did all that in less than 2 years? I mean, who can say that they did such things while also still (pardon the terms) looking fly, partying, hosting radio shows and doing music.

But do know that I am totally with you in the "next level". In general cleaning, rearranging, dreaming and the saving. i don't think you're weird. I just think you're better.

HOW CAN THAT NOT PULL YOU BACK TO THE AWESOMENESS OF THE REALITY AT HAND???!!!

I love my husband because he knows how to put things into perspective... whenever I have my mini bi-polar episodes that take me into this abysmal, pathetic state of self-doubt, over-exaggerated worry, self-deprecation, and sheer and utter disenchantment.

Sometimes you just really become your worst critic and always feel that you should be something else, something seemingly more. Or different. And it's good too because it keeps you motivated, and at least it means that you actually care to make a change. It happens to everyone in phases I guess. But doing it too much, as with everything, can be damaging as well. It may lead to forgetting or even ignoring the beauty and the goodness that's already (and has always been) present in one's life. Again, what may seem "standard" for us, may be seen as something so aspirational for others. And sometimes it means seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.

*nods*

In other news...

Not to sound like some crazy health nut but hot damn, this gym membership is one of the best things I could've ever gotten (my husband) and myself. Given I can barely walk down a flight of stairs without groaning and granted my semi-master cleansing is making my face itch from all the detoxing BUT STILL. I like being the only girl brave enough to make her rounds on the machines whilst surrounded by a sea of testosterone... and amusingly pained faces and disgustingly huge muscles on body parts I didn't know muscles could exist.

Though I do still let out a sigh whenever I leave the gym and drive past a McDonald's and a Burger King. (What I'd give for a solid piece of meat in my mouth... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.)



This was my cue to start getting into that "physical fitness" and to [maybe] cut down my drinking... but just to the point where I don't pass out. =)