HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?

 

Benjamin Arnold: Are you busy?

michelle_kay_callanta: what's up?

Benjamin Arnold: Random question out of nowhere...

Benjamin Arnold: Have you ever had your heart broken?

michelle_kay_callanta: uhm why?

Benjamin Arnold: I wanted to know how it feels

michelle_kay_callanta: why?

Benjamin Arnold: I was thinking kc, in the movies people always portray heart breaks the same: heart starts hurting, cant breath and then just seclude themselves from other people and the world...

Benjamin Arnold: I was wondering if it was the same for everyone

Benjamin Arnold: and if that would be the same for me (if or when) I get my heart broken

michelle_kay_callanta: yeah i guess. =P

michelle_kay_callanta: i forget. HAHAHAHAHA

michelle_kay_callanta: hasn't happened to me in a while, HAHAHAHAHA

michelle_kay_callanta: no seriously... ok let me remember the instances when it happened... from like an outsider's point of view...

michelle_kay_callanta: ok when this guy told me he didn't love me back, i remember just sitting alone on the floor of my living room apartment, completely numb from crying, just basically lethargic and sad and catatonic in a way... whilst listening to Perfect Circle's song 3 Libras.

michelle_kay_callanta: then when an ex broke up with me, i got wasted and started crying and just wrote and wrote in my journal about my heartaches.

Benjamin Arnold: Interesting...

Benjamin Arnold: I wonder if break ups for girls are the same for guys

michelle_kay_callanta: so i guess yeah, there is an actual physical pain in your heart ---- and you feel a shortness of breath and tears just sort of burn your face...

Benjamin Arnold: I believe in movies guys just drink

michelle_kay_callanta: it's easy to drink cuz the pain can be so intense but i know for guys too they drink cuz it's not like they can just sob to their buddies, not like girls.

michelle_kay_callanta: i know most guys usually just become hermits for a while. OR... they overcompensate by fucking around. so they won't have to face the pain, you know?

Benjamin Arnold: I wonder how I would react

Benjamin Arnold: curious indeed

Benjamin Arnold: I am now listening to perfect circle

michelle_kay_callanta: HAHAHAHAHA READ THE LYRICS!!! MABIGAT SYA!!!

Benjamin Arnold: So its one of those songs...

michelle_kay_callanta: but honestly in retrospect, i think it was really just my ego that was bruised...

michelle_kay_callanta: hahahaha yeah its one of those songs but the reason why i like it is cuz it's a GUY singing it, saying "you don't see me" and it's so endearing and painful to see a guy break down and be so forthcoming.

michelle_kay_callanta: you know now that i think about it, i think GOD HOW COULD I HAVE CRIED LIKE THAT???? AND FOR THAT GUY!!!

michelle_kay_callanta: my friends used to tell me that i was more in love with the drama than the guy.

Benjamin Arnold: That could be true

michelle_kay_callanta: all i know is that it really brought the writer/poet out of me, you know? and i think --- admittedly --- i think i might have deliberately sabotaged my relationships so that they would fail... so that i could feel that pain... to motivate me.

Benjamin Arnold: Very interesting indeed

Benjamin Arnold: You totally psyching yourself right now

Benjamin Arnold: hahaha

michelle_kay_callanta: Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn'd love, But now I think there is no unreturn'd love, the pay is certain one way or another, (I loved a certain person ardently and my love was not return'd, Yet out of that I have written these songs.) -Sometimes With One I Love by Walt Whitman

michelle_kay_callanta: HAHAHAHAHA! O AYAN. That's what i think about when i think of heartbreaks.

michelle_kay_callanta: (hahaha now i just use the gym to motivate me so that my relationship doesn't fail hahahahaha besides, i don't wanna die a miserable old lonely poet now do i? =)

Benjamin Arnold: Miserable old obese lonely poet

michelle_kay_callanta: HAHAHAHA KOREK.

Benjamin Arnold: Thank you Mitch for answering my question