Why being on top is such a lonely place.

While I've always liked sitting at the head of the dining table, I don't think I'll ever really enjoy sitting "kabisera" when it comes to work... or having my own office or sitting away from my team. Unless, of course, it was a team I didn't like working with. But then again, why would you work at such a place?

And yet, that's not the point nor the case here.

I just feel bad that I have to move to second floor... effective Monday. The floor where all the bosses reside. While my team... my friends... are downstairs and have to resort to SKYPE in order to talk to me, or ask my opinion, or show me something funny on their computer screens.

Yes. I'm flattered. And proud of myself.

But not as much as I am sad. And confused.

Confused that even though I've finally gotten a managerial position, why can't I not be where my team is? (Apparently, that's the general practice -- so I am told -- when it comes to moving up the corporate ladder, you move up some physical ladder as well.) I suppose it's to keep you from getting too close or too personal. But what's wrong with being "close and personal?" Can't people be close and personal and professional all at the same time?  Why is it so bad that I see my colleagues as colleagues rather than as subordinates? Is there some bigger picture here somewhere? Did I miss that part in SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE where it says the first step to being a boss is isolating yourself from the ones who helped you get to where you are?

I was effective where I was (Ok at least I'd like to think I was/am) Not just as "a boss"... but as a colleague, as a contemporary. As a friend. And yeah, even as a person. I was effective because I was able to appreciate everyone else's strengths and helped them through their bouts of weakness or lapses in judgment. I was effective because I allowed them to teach me the way they allowed me to guide them.

And hell, I was effective because they made me laugh and made me realize, no matter how bad it got, no matter how tired I was, being around them inspired me to finish the next issue. And the next issue. And all 64 issues I've done so far.

I don't get it. And I'm sad. I'm really really sad.