Lessons on Love and Men (and my side comments)

A man won't let go if he really loves
you.
- Do not hold on to someone who has
let go of you. He does not love you
and does not value having you. Believe
me, he will not let go if he really
loves you. There is another reason he
is not willing to tell.

(Unless you're a jerk of a woman. Hey, we can't make this too one-sided now, can we? =)

Do not look for reasons why he ended
the relationship.
- There is only one reason why he
ended your relationship. He just does
not love you. Do not waste your time
thinking of reasons or what you should
have done. Move on and be open to a
man who will truly love you.

(Besides, having to look for a reason should be reason enough.)

Do not get hung up on your past.
- Do not nag or distrust your current
boyfriend just because your ex hurt
you. Do not treat him or the
relationship the same way. Do not
compare. He will not react the same
way as your ex. Do not be worried that
your simple mistakes will cause him to
look for another girl. What happened
with your ex was not your fault. It was
not because you didn't guard him
enough or you didn't make him happy
enough.

(Ok, maybe... you didn't make him happy enough. It goes both ways, really. Unless you are sure of yourself and what you truly gave, then the abovementioned does not apply.)

Do not look into images.
- How many times have you met a girl
who didn't have the best image in
school or at the office, but you get
to know the girl and found out she was
actually extremely nice? Do not rely
on images. Oftentimes, it is far from
reality. Do not fear men just because
your "supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend
mistreated you.

(I agree... I mean, with my rep... I'd also like to be given a chance. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be wary.)

Always have your own set of rules.
- Set your limits on how far you'd go
for a guy. It’s perfectly ok to give
and do everything as long as it's
worth it. And it's worth it if the guy
is treating you right.

(And it's even more worth it when you're doing it all for the right reasons... because giving isn't simply about reciprocity.)

Do not be scared to lose him.
- Don't be scared that he'll break up
with you. Once you are afraid of
losing him, you easily can be taken
advantage of. Be strong and if something
is unacceptable, do not accept it and
speak up.

(Yeah, you'd be surprised at how much men actually like strong-willed women who speak their minds. It gives 'em a bit of a challenge. And though they may not agree with you and end up breaking up with you anyway, at least you'd be remembered as someone assertive... not a doormat.)

Avoid calling your guy.
- It's a guy thing. The relationship
will definitely be better if it's the
guy who's calling, not the girl. He
will get tired of you if you keep on
calling. He will lose interest and
challenge. More so, he will get
annoyed. But it's a girl thing also
that your fingers get too itchy until
you dial his number. But avoid as much
as possible. Call only if really
needed (like checking if your
suspicions are reasonable).

(This is hard but a definite must. Muster up that left-over pride, woman!)

Believe that there is a guy who will value you.
- There is a guy out there who can
make you feel valued, appreciated, and
loved. And I mean, not just during
your first few weeks together. So
don't lose hope. Don't settle for a
lesbian if you are not attracted to
women. There is a man out there who
can love you like a girl can. Also, do
not believe him when he says it's just
the way he really is. He's not the
sweet or expressive-type. Remember
during your first few weeks together?
Where has that sweet guy gone? He
simply is not that into you anymore.

(Besides, being an overly cynical romantic atheist is so unbecoming.)

Always be the only one, no matter what.
- Do not ever fall for a guy who has
another girl, be it his wife,
girlfriend, or any girl that he says
he just can't get rid of for whatever
reason. If you truly believe that he
loves you and for some reason, he
can't leave or let go of another girl,
then you are no different from any
ordinary mistress.

(Ok, being a mistress is sometimes fun... so long as you know your place and you don't make any demands. But if in case you decide you don't want to be a mistress anymore, it is your duty to tell him how you feel so that he is compelled to make a decision. If he doesn't choose you, then you've worn-out your stay. But if he does choose you, you better make sure he doesn't do to you what he did to the girl he left you for. I always believed mistresses were the more knowledgeable ones... so you have no excuse to allow yourself to play the fool.)

He must respect you.
- No matter how long the relationship
has been, he should always show
respect towards you.

(Yep. It's not even about love anymore. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, baby. That's the stuff of genuine relationships. But you gotta respect yourself first. If you don't, then don't expect him to do so.)

If he fooled you, end it.
- Philandering once is enough. You can
never trust nor respect the person
again.

(I'm still having a bit of trouble reconciling this one... though normally, it would be hands-down, get-up-and-leave-his-sorry-ass. Ok... nevermind. Yeah. Leave him. To the left, to the left.)

Never start a relationship the wrong
way.
- Do not steal another girl's man, for
whatever reason. Nor should you enter
a relationship for the wrong reasons
(loneliness, on the rebound, getting
back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.)
it is bound not to last. You will only
end up wasting more years of your
life.

(Now... I am forced to prove this hypothesis wrong. Hahahahaha!!! But I understand its premise, seriously. But then again, all happy endings had to go through an immense amount of adversity, right? Oh, whatever. What we did was wrong. But we fell in love. Forgive us.)

Do not force yourself into a
relationship.
- Do not get into a relationship just
because your friends are getting
impatient with your dating escapades
and the one hasn't come yet. Do not
choose who to say yes to based on
superficial things like money, looks,
cars, etc.. If you are even thinking
of these things, you have not fallen
in love yet.

(I totally agree. Hypocrisy to the heart leaves you an empty, soul-less shell... devoid of feeling and fulfillment. And believe me, superficial things can never take the place of a man you feel intensely and passionately about. I'd give up trips to Zara, Galileo, and Batangas dive sites in that delicious Subaru Impreza for Ever Gotesco, Tomatokick, and out-of-town rock gigs in the always-ridin'-dirty-chamillionaire Honda SIR ANY DAY!... Oh right, I already have. =)