90% sure.

As I was getting my nails "did," the technician was surprised to learn that my wedding was tomorrow and I was completely calm. (Little did she know, my serenity was actually a raging hangover in sleepy disguise.) But then again, I've always been pretty calm when it came down to it. It's quite unromantic, really, especially for someone whose romanticized this day for a long time. But as I'd gotten

older (and more practical), you really DO learn "the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul" and the Beatles said it brilliantly, I just want a hand to hold, hopefully for a really long time. I mean, you're supposed to be marrying the person you love, the person you're supposed to "spend the rest of your life" with --- if you're sure of that, then... there really shouldn't be anything to stress over, is there? Sure, a wedding would make for a lovely show... but if that's all it is then... I guess that'd be something to stress over. I read somewhere you should "marry the right person" as this one decision will "determine 90% of your happiness or misery." That is some pretty scary ass shit. A whole 90%. And the 10% is shared by your kids, your parents, friends, favorite books, pastimes, bars, music, etc. Man, all I'm saying is I'm just glad I got someone to hold MY hand, drunk OR sober. But more so when I'm drunk and shit-faced and in a comatose, and someone who can still find it in their heart to dress me into something more comfortable even when I'm this alcohol-reeking, unattractive deadweight. And knowing that, just that, is what keeps me calm.

So Mr. Paolo Toledo, let's get married --- again. (90% man... 90 f*cking percent, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Happy Halloween. =)